Keep private to protect your dreams, goals and visions. Khalil Gibran once said: “Travel and tell no one. Live a true love story and tell no one. Live happily and tell no one. People ruin beautiful things.” How many times have you told others your goals, your ambitions and your dreams only to receive some sort of negative comment back? This negative comment can do more harm than good and whilst these naysayers may not have bad intentions, their opinions can still destroy your happiness. Unfortunately, it’s hard to share good things because there is always someone that will negatively judge, comment or question what you’re doing. ALWAYS!
I’m at a stage in my life now where I don’t need to consult with anyone about the decisions that I make in my life for my life and for myself to make me happy. Prior to this stage in my life, I can say that if I had not listened to others, I’d probably be where I wanted to be years ago and this is the effect that others can have on you. Unfortunately, we cannot avoid the naysayers so we have to create boundaries for our own lives which means keeping private. You don’t need to share every single intimate detail, especially with those that you know will shit on your happiness. Instead, we can use this space that we create for ourselves and just be happy. And of course, we want to share good news but there are ways to do that and if you still feel like you’ll be judged negatively, then don’t say a damn thing! Who are these others to comment negatively on things that make you happy? Are they happy? Probably not which is why they’re giving you negative shit to hide their unhappiness. It’s psychology baby! Once you understand this, you’ll continue to be happy no matter what.
My most recent positive change in circumstances I believe, I handled so well when it came to sharing my good news with others. When I share good news, I’m not looking for questions, I’m not looking for comments, I’m simply sharing my good news in the HOPE that others will be happy for me. Me sharing my good news is not an open door for anyone to criticize anything that I do especially as a woman who is 2 years away from her 40’s! If I want advice, I’ll ask for it! I actually think it’s downright rude and inappropriate for others to negatively comment on positive changes; I find it disrespectful and being given advice when not asked for is also very rude! Who are these people to judge the way I live my life or who I spend my life with? Who do they think they are? The fact that they can negatively comment on someone else’s happiness exactly shows what they’re about and is very demeaning.
Fortunately, when you do share your happiness, no matter the feedback that you get, you’re in such a better place than those negatively criticizing you. The point of this blog post is to show you that no matter who comments, or what negative feedback you receive, is to learn to not let it affect you in anyway. Do not let others bring you down! Here are a few ways that I’ve managed to overcome this:
- Keep Private – as mentioned above, protect your goals and visions for your life. Whatever makes you happy, DO MORE OF THAT!!
- Do not announce until confirmed and ready to do so – things have a way of not going to plan when you announce something that isn’t yet confirmed and you’re making the naysayers extremely happy in the process.
- Be confident in your decisions – trust yourself, have faith and believe in yourself. You don’t need to consult anyone about the decisions you make for your life. This is your life to live, no one else’s!
- Be happy – when you do share your news, be happy! If you receive a negative comeback, just respond with “I’m happy”. Shut it down there and then!
- Think positively – always! It doesn’t matter if things don’t work out, you get up and you try again. Don’t give up. Look at the glass as half full always and things will work in your favour.
- Set up your boundaries (early) – boundaries is a big one. Others do not need to know every little about you and your news. Shut things down when you need to, be bold and brave and say to them that you do not appreciate their negativity.
- Laugh off any criticism – this is a good one. You don’t need to blatantly laugh out loud but in your mind you can say to yourself “in through one ear, out the other.” You didn’t ask for a negative comment so use your mind as a filter, like a Brita water filter 😉
- Be honest and tell them how you feel – sometimes, it’s good just to say what you feel. You don’t have to be rude or abrupt about it but just comment back and say thank you for your comment, however it is not in line with my current stage in life.
Remember, when someone shows you negativity towards your happiness, it’s a projection of themselves and how they feel about themselves, their life and their happiness (or unhappiness in this case). Just continue to be happy. If it doesn’t work out, you gave it a shot and you can look back positively and that you took a chance! If it works out, great stuff!
Life is about risk, it’s about change! Don’t allow the naysayers to sway you from your happiness.
One love ✌️